Forum

I recall seeing a web page once that read "you have reached the end of the internet – turn about and start again."  Could it be we have covered all the wls topics.  Not likely.  But like it is with any magazine, newspaper, or television program, first you have to know your audience.  Ron can confirm this but from an observational point of view the bulk of the people here are newbies.  By newbie I mean someone who is pre-op or recently had a wls procedure.  So for those people, most of the questions and observations that you illustrate are new experiences that are better asked than researched.

I think the challenge lies in the nature of WLS people and what happens to them after surgery.  In the beginning they are like everyone here.  After a while though there is a basic impulse of "I don't need to be here I can do this myself" as obesity is a disease of isolation.  By the way, weight loss surgery doesn't fix our heads so all those strange beliefs and opinions we carried before surgery are still there unless we have actually worked on fixing our noggins.  So people drift off.  If they are successful we rarely hear from them again; if they are unsuccessful they seem to consider themselves failures and are too embarrassed to reach out for help.  Either way, they are not coming on line to comment or post.  Nor are they coming to any of the forum groups.

So in simple group dynamics there is an issue that sustaining an active membership is impossible if all the existing members fade away – think of what is happening to the Royal Canadian Legion.  But there is also a challenge from the newbie end.  With the complete inability of the provincial government in BC to allow VIHA to fund more surgeries the backlog of people waiting for surgery will only increase.  Those people have no options to but to wait it out.  Complaints and appeals fall on deaf ears with the current government. 

This leaves us with the question of how do we encourage and support post-op members to participate more.  I can suggest a few ways if it were not for the freedom of information act.  The doctor's offices cannot provide us with a list of their clients' names and frankly you cannot trust the physicians' offices to make their patients aware that sites like WL&S exist.  And how do you involve someone who doesn't want to be involved?

Now of course there are some post ops who did hang in there and are valuable contributing members.  The forum at the RJH would not exist without its post-op leaders.  And certainly we would be lost without Ron and WL&S.  But I do understand how Momjan and the others must be worn out from hearing the same songs over and over again.  There needs to be a place where the post-ops can contribute, renew their interests and maintain WLS relationship as much as there needs to be a place for newbies to ask the same old questions, come to the same realizations, and celebrate those important personal victories.

Blake

And I agree with both of you….most post ops drop off and their knowledge is gone; that`s why the older posts are good for newbies to read through, if they take the time.

I AM a post op, and like to come to the site as I find it helps remind me of things I need to do to stay on track; it`s too bad a few more post ops don`t stay around.  And I can always learn more things to share with people, which I do.  In my mind I consider coming here my way of paying back the information I received from previous members and found their information invaluable.  If I hadn't read the back posts, I never would have found out the person's name in the OCC section of HIBC to contact for my surgery.  Because I read the back posts, I was able to get my request in for surgery and has approved within FIVE MONTHS of my FIRST VISIT.  SO, BEING PROACTIVE AND FINDING OUT INFORMATION CAN HELP YOU- BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER YOUR SURGERY!!!

I understand the need to vent and share info, but the site seems to be getting pretty stale.  Or maybe I`ve just outgrown it.  I will have to ponder that; perhaps it`s time for me to move on as the information I have shared doesn`t seem to be used much anyways.  When I started on this site pre-op, there were lots of posts with helpful info and lots to read.  Not so much now.  I haven't seen a new post under food, nutrition, sales, before and after, funny things, etc. for a long, long time……..

You mentioned the provincial government and VIHA aren`t funding additional surgeries.  Did you know they doubled their surgeries this year?  And it's NOT VIHA who funds them; it's the prov. gov't that provides the funding to EACH health authority for most things they do.  More than one health authority was provided funds for bariatrics; I left posts with enough clues as to where to go and find this information themselves.   Has anyone taken up my suggestion to find out exactly how many surgeries were approved – and what health authority they were approved in?  Nope.  Or, I can't assume that, but if they did take the time to find this out, they haven't shared it with anyone else. 

I learned most the information I have about wls – and I have a considerable amount – by reading posts here and on other sites, and doing a lot of research.  I didn't come on sites and ask questions without checking back information first and that really helped me learn a LOT of information from people who have been there, done that.

I drop into support groups, but not on a regular basis as I can't make it monthly.  I try to pay back in ways that I can when I attend them and on this site through information sharing.

So.  I will stay on the site for a while and see what's happening, but I suppose the challenge to others is to find and share information that is fresh, new and helpful.   Anyone out there willing to take the challenge?

Sonia,,

You can share and ask whatever you want.  I dont agree with anything momjan wrote.  I have been here for 4+ yrs. Being proactive yes but there is so much we can do.  I have been in the news not much people can stay they did this. I am the one that got the petition we did into the house with Adrian Dix, I am the one that also got his help for all of us.  I made the flyers to hang up when we were doing the pention. 

Not all of us can go to the states and have this surgery.  Momjan I think you should count your self lucky that you could go.  But myself I did not have two promblems with being over weight  and my bmi is not high enough. 

Plus people just had this surgey is scared and they should feel like they can come here and ask questions and not be scared someone is going to jump down their throat.

\i had to ask for one of my post to be removed since I felt it got out of hand.  I have right to know why I have waited for 4+ yrs I also have a right to bitch about it. 

I think if someone does not have something nice to say DON'T SAY IT.

I know Ron would agree with me on this ask all the questions you want. We are here to help you. 

I think I have to blog write know.

I have to say, up until this recent post, I found this website to be a godsend.  I had been on other sites but I was referred to this site as it was so interactive.

I HAVE done the research and reviewed posts from this and many other sites. Coming out of surgery last week, I was afraid and no amount of preperation had me ready for what to really expect. It was reassuring to know that I should eat this or not eat that, I should feel this or not feel that. I was reassuring knowing that others had and are or will be going through it and may have some wisdom to share.

I don't see it as a bad thing to be able to reach out because as Blake so eloquently put it, obesity is a disease of isolation. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel so alone.

My recommendation to Momjam is to maybe read the posts she finds of interest or of use and perhaps, avoid the others.

This is an interesting topic. I'm a firm believer on the "moving on" process that almost ALL Post-ops will accept and embrace. Some sooner than others. My experience tells me that almost 90% of Post-ops will eventually "move on" This is a good thing for them. All the professionals I've talked with, including the surgeons all say the same. Post-op's should and NEED to move on with their lives. The down side is that when they move on, they usually leave behind the WLS community. That's is it should be and why we carry the articles and old posts here on this forum…. so others that come in the future, will be able to read, explore and research the journey of those that came before.

I get MomJan's desire to motivate discussion. I want everyone to jump in … sometimes I'm so frustrated with the lack of traffic on the forum, I want to tear my hair out!! …. but I also know that the journey is unique for each and every one of us. Often the act of writing a question and receiving validation from others is the crucial final link in a person's acceptance and understanding of their journey towards surgery. So, no matter what question you want or need to ask, even if it's been answered a million times before, I encourage everyone to post. It's often the only way many of us can move forward in our own personal journey. The answer you receive might be to read a previously posted topic in the forum or point to many of our articles. (yes, we encourage reading and research )

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't ask or add brilliantly conceived new questions or ideas. So to Momjan, thanks for generating some lively discussion. To anyone that is pre-op, never fear asking any question, no matter how simple or how often it's been asked before. We are all human, and it is our humanity that most of the WLS journey is common to all that experience it. That however, doesn't mean that your particular journey is the same or that your understanding of a WLS challenge makes you identical to all that have come before. It's also our humanity that makes us unique.

"WLS Support" will always be a safe place for everyone. It's what this place was conceived for and will always be. Respect and safety for all of our WLS community.

Let hear from everyone … especially lurkers (hate that terminology – but can't think a something better right at this moment). Take a moment to say hello and introduce yourself. The power of our site is the willingness for all to communicate and share.

Ron

Frances said:

I would like to welcome all the new people that are coming to this site.  I am a pre-op and getting surgery in December. For those who haven't posted yet, please let us know who you are so we can also support you on your journey.  If there is a question that you have that I can answer for you I will.  I am interested in hearing your story.  Frances

Well said Frances!

Hi Paige:  I remember when I first started on this site that you often shared information. Thanks for doing that.  Hey, we are here to support you on this journey. Don't give up. Thinking of you.  Frances

I learned today, from a pharmacist, that magnesium should really not be taken with calcium but should be taken separately. Magnesium should be taken before going to bed. Calcium taken in the morning/day. Also learned that Vitamin E, helps to take care of a fatty liver. But since Vitamin E is a fat soluable patients need to check with their doctors first on its use.

Frances

I have the utmost respect for those who have founded and continue to run this site. I have been on both kris's site and this one since august 2009. I read and reread items and sometimes i ask questions. I know there may have beenprevious similar posts however i am always looking for current information. Not all of us like to chat on these boards but it is a lifesaver to me to know that i can sign on and read anytime. I was at the conference in victoria and met many wonderful people. I met blake and his wife although i am sure he doesnt remember me. Perhaps i will post more closer to my surgery date but i know i am not alone just by having this site available. So it is extremely helpful to many. I have 3 friends who live close to me and we often discuss topics found on the site.
Thanks for always being here and please know that this site makes a difference!!!

Momjan ~  I have been post surgery for three years now.  Yes, in the beginning I used this site quite a bit,  to get support and not feel alone in my journey. I also asked the same questions many before me did, I think sometimes just to get the reassurance and actually someone "talking" to me about it. There were so many questions and fears that just "talking to other people" made the journey so much easier.  As Ron said, post surgery you "move on" and have this new life ahead of you, new challenges, new addictions, a lot of changes in your life.  I still keep coming back and reading posts of people on this journey.  I still went to Dr. Amson for my checkups until last year.  Not that there was something wrong but just that I needed that support and encouraging words from him and interact with people in the office.

I felt really alone for a while now with my struggle of the weight that I did gain again,  that is why I am back here, to get encouragement, read what others have to say and find the strength and encouragment to get back on track,  and yes I know… My friends that did not have the surgery say to me Oh it's only 10lbs in three years!!!  for me even 1lb makes a huge difference and that is what they don't understand. I get depressed and scared, thinking I don't want to be where I was three years ago, but at the same time, have this empty alone feeling thinking I can't do this, it's an uphill battle…

 Here… I know people understand and encourage each other every day and that is why I'm back, asking questions again.  Looking for that damn vitamin list now for half hour in the search tool and cannot find it!  so please send me a link Ron. :)

Keep up the good work and good luck to all the newbies out there.  You can do it!!!

Jannette