Scary things plus sexy secrets….hmm

Well I’ll start with something scary for everybody on here. It’s funny how when I was bigger, I almost thought I was “safe” from sexual assaults. Who’s going to want to assault the fat chick?? Thats really gonna get them going I’m sure. Naiive, but somewhat true. Unless they are a “chubby chaser” they are probably disgusted with fat people or at least thats how sometimes things came across. Well I’ll get to the point.
The other day I was at the gym and there was this guy there eyeing me up. At first I was thinking “what the hell, do I have something on my face?” but then after a quick look in the mirror I looked perfectly sweaty …I was in a gym after all. So he moved beside me on every single machine I went on and I was trying to get away from him. Finally I went to run on the track and there he was right behind me following me. I was getting annoyed. So I was done my work out and I headed out for the day to the bus. I got on the bus, put my change in, turned and looked towards the seats and there he was in one of them. We locked eyes and I was terrified.
“What if he got off at my stop?” He must have gotten on the bus at the first stop that was around a corner so I couldn’t see it, and known I’d be on the next. I was starting to call my fiance, I was scared but he was at work what was he going to do? So it was my stop and he got off right behind me. I was really scared now. I started walking fast. I got my keys out and then I had an idea. He was crossing the street so he could watch me from across the street. He was still watching. I pretended to be on the phone loudly…here is what I said.
“OH HEY HUN, YOU’RE WAITING AT HOME FOR ME? YOU COULD HAVE PICKED ME UP”
“OH OKAY I WILL BE THERE IN A FEW MINUTES I AM JUST WALKING ON THE MAIN ROAD.”
After I said that loudly into my phone, he turned around and headed down another street. It worked. I was terrified and I don’t know what I should do about this…but it got me thinking.
I’m not who I used to be and men actually might find me attractive…this still makes me chuckle but I guess I’m kinda cute…In a short, blonde kind of way… But should I be afraid now? The fat was kind of a protective barrier for me and now it is coming off….and the thought that men are looking at me different is scary. Normal people don’t follow girls home though. That was wrong and I am going to report it if anything happens like this again.

So on to something better… SEXY SECRETS!
I was in the states and I was going into Victorias Secret. As usual I’m looking at all the sexy lingere thinking “theres nothing that will fit me here” but I decided to try it on. I tried on this black lacy leopard print bra. It FIT! So then I tried on a t shirt and some panties and THEY FIT! So I bought them all. I’m so proud of myself and seeing myself in something so normal makes me feel that much more normal. I dont’ feel like I am obese anymore…just “fat”…I am happy and okay with that right now. Thankfully I am at the beginning of my journey and not at the end so there is much more room for improvement. And I am excited to take that on!

xoxo

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